::Corn--the FBI Dream::

"Dependence on God can fade quickly when prayers are answered." --Henry B. Eyring

There would be no need for faith or agency if all prayers were answered. Everyone would pray if they knew that they would get what they prayed for, and the plan of salvation would be destroyed. -- Quote I couldn't find, but I wish I knew who said it. Was it Kimball?

"Pray as though everything depended on God; act as though everything depended on you." --Saint Augustine.

Job Searching: I decided I’m a little too much of an angsty artistic person for job applications. I’ve done a few online, and I keep scoffing at the questions, and answering them about 90% honestly, but really, you probably have to say “definitely true” instead of “somewhat true” to “I would love and enjoy to work late night and early morning shifts” if you want a job. I think they forget to ask: “Would you love to pointlessly waste an hour filling out insipid questions on the computer while we deny your application in the next ten minutes?”

Dream #3: This was a fairly complex dream, so I have to fill the little gaps in, but in the dream, I was in a hospital, or a medical school or something—it kindof makes sense that it should be an FBI building too. These criminals got in and filled the whole bottom floor with this red, chemical liquid and we find out—they’re going to blow up an old-fashioned version of the city of New York by igniting the chemicals!

Corn, an FBI agent, is in the building’s shower when he finds out that the city’s is going to be blown up. So he runs out in his towel with his gun. Everyone was probably wondering, ‘What the heck is Corn doing in a towel?’ while they stood facing each other: FBI agents on the good ol’ American side vs. unnamed, evil, foreign crazies on the bad side. Someone ignites a match to blow the place and the FBI agents see it’s no good and flee.

They see the fire start, and they realize that Corn is running the wrong way: “No, Corn!” they scream. “Don’t run to the right! Run to the left of the building!” but it’s too late (and left and right is a matter of opinion, depending on where you face, but apparently the building must have had a tendency to shoot debris on the right the last time they blew it up, because they were very adamant that the RIGHT side was more dangerous than the LEFT side).

By now Corn is in an alleyway and he can’t go to the left anymore, and there is a small explosion: boom! And Corn, our heroic short, black, spiky-haired little hero in a towel, goes flying, but of course he’s all right—what’s a little explosion to an FBI agent? He flied off into the sky thinking what a cool sensation it is, then he gets up and goes back to see his FBI leaders were the ones who caused a small explosion to stop the criminals (and impressively are uninjured or dead—who knows? Maybe they got super powers from the chemicals?)

So Corn walks out and strolls along in his towel, with other huge crowds of people going home to tell people the news. Then there’s this (slightly taller than him) blond nurse lady that Corn tries to small talk with, but she blows him off because, hey, he’s in a towel, and you would too!

Lady (we’ll name her Allison—perhaps we should call her “offended Allison”): “Where are your clothes?”

Corn: “They’re probably disintegrated by now.” And he further explains the towel, and when she realizes he’s not a creeper, she kindof warms up to him, but when she does Corn is like, “I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be talking with someone in a towel—I don’t think you’re the kind of person I’d like to associate with…” and he walks ahead, but he’s kidding, and she sortof, not really, apologizes and for some unknown reason they end up at his house (she has nowhere to go and she has lost her cell phone or something, so she was going to borrow his phone).

I think Corn was living with his dad still (semi-lame, but pretty funny), so he goes to get dressed and the blond lady and the dad do the classic, humiliate-the-one-who-can’t-defend-himself and pull out a scrapbook or something and they stumble across this ridiculous invitation to a birthday celebration Corn wrote for himself and stuffed in there. It’s this little slip of paper that says “Come to Corn’s b-day party if you want some cake.” The date on the paper is today. And Allison is like, “Oh, how cute! We should go to the party! That’s so sad they blew up that building on his birthday!”

So they go to the party which is actually someone else’s Wedding Reception or Anniversary or something and Corn invited people to it for his birthday as a joke. (I didn’t see Corn again the rest of the dream, so he must not have come to his “birthday party”).

At the reception, there were these two arch-enemy chefs who work together on the guests’ food. (The large lady did the cookies and cakes, and the large fellow was an obsessive beans-in-dessert guy). They start to get in a fight at the reception in front of the guests when the lady takes one of her cookies, scrapes off some of the bean icing from the cake, tastes it, and says coolly, “The cake is bland, the icing is mediocre, and the taste combined together is dull.” Surprisingly, in the dream, the white frosting with beans was weird-looking, but pretty good—and at this point the exciting adventures of Corn ended when I woke up.

Dream #3 Analysis: First of all, you should know that the name “Corn” comes from a conversation me and Saren had. This book that both of us read, has a spoof on Rapunzel with a girl named “Spinach” and we were thinking of other funny names people could have: broccoli, corn, pea…

I think this was my brain’s attempt at trying to imitate one of those modern-day popular F.B.I/criminal shows/ one of those funny reality-style shows about grown people in some workplace like a hospital or something. A valiant effort of my brain, I think, but I don’t think the show would be much success on tv…

Maybe I have a hidden desire to try nasty things like beans in cake… but that could have just come from Saren wanting to do all kinds weird desserts and stuff.