What 'av I gotta talk about? My friend Alisha told me about how she was transcribing journals at the BYU library, and how she got to do this spectacular journal written by a mother with a son on a mission, and... a not-so-spectacular journal by a preacher who wrote about...
His sermons and his daily bowel movements.
Yes, his BOWEL movements.
I'm not sure I even know enough about my bowel movements to write anything boring about them--let alone something interesting about them...
11/27/11: My stomach is feeling in that way that it does when I am hungry. As the philospher Pooh described it--"I've got a grumbly in my tummy." However, my stomach doesn't always know what is best for it, and so I tell it, "Cool it man, just fill up with water. You ate like half a confounded loaf of bread today, remember? Isn't that enough calories to last you through the night you pansy!? Who do you think you are always complaining all the time!?!?"
Which reminds me of that unpleasant television show I saw at my job training tonight... There is a disorder that some people have that makes them incapable of feeling full! They are always hungry! They can literally eat until they die! Which was actually something I've wondered about before. I was wondering if you would throw up or pass out before you can eat yourself to death, but apparently your stomach explodes instead. Awful. Really tragic. (And yes, I do think about peculiar ways of dying. I told you--I don't have any romances to think about so what's supposed to occupy my mind!?)
Tired... and Freeway Drivin'...
So the reason I've got a grumbly tummy is... I'm stayin' up ALL NIGHT. Yes sirree, look at me, I'm the new night guard of the girls' home at Spanish Forky!
So I'm completely... readjusting my schedule... Which should be interesting since I have an incredible ability for sleeping at any time in any place--although I admit I haven't learned how to do it sleeping up yet... One time at school Saren was trying to diagnose me as a mild narcoleptic. But no, it's not quite that bad.
Another interesting factor to this new job is that I have to drive on the freeway for a half an hour to get there. Yeah. The freeway.
I hate driving at night. The flashing lights always make me feel like I've got a policeman on my tail.
If I got in a car crash I'd be dead in instant. Seriously. You couldn't possibly be more tense at a driving wheel than me. I grip the wheel, lean forward, and repeat over and over to myself that I am going to be okay... while I pray that I will be okay, because I know the truth of the matter is: I never would have gotten a license if it had not been for serious divine intervention.
So why would I die in an instant if I were to crash? I have such a tight grip on the steering wheel I think it is going to be muscle strengthening. If every muscle in my body is this tight when I crash my neck and back would be snapped right away because my muscles are probably close to doing the job on their own.
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